invincible summers

in the middle of winter I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer. (albert camus)

‘Deep Throat’ Mark Felt Dies at 95 December 19, 2008

Filed under: news,politics,r.i.p. — clementine @ 2:55 am
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‘Deep Throat’ Mark Felt Dies at 95
very sad news but what a great man.


From the Washington Post:

W. Mark Felt Sr., the associate director of the FBI during the Watergate scandal who, better known as “Deep Throat,” became the most famous anonymous source in American history, died yesterday. He was 95.

Felt died at 12:45 p.m. at a hospice near his home in Santa Rosa, Calif., where he had been living since August.

Felt “was fine this morning” and was “joking with his caregiver,” according to his daughter, Joan Felt. She said in a phone interview that her father ate a big breakfast before remarking that he was tired and going to sleep.

“He slipped away,” she said.


accidental drug mix killed ledger February 6, 2008

Filed under: entertainment news,r.i.p. — clementine @ 1:05 pm
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From the BBC:

Hollywood actor Heath Ledger died of an accidental overdose of six different types of prescription drugs, New York authorities have revealed.

The Brokeback Mountain actor, 28, was found dead in January in an apartment he had been renting in Manhattan.

The city medical examiner’s spokeswoman said Ledger died “as the result of acute intoxication by the combined effects” of the different drugs.

They include painkiller Oxycontin and anti-anxiety drugs Valium and Xanax.

Spokeswoman Ellen Borakove said: “What you’re looking at here is the cumulative effects of these medications together.”

Traces of painkiller ibuprofen and sleeping pills, Restoril and Unisom, were also found in Ledger’s blood.

Ledger’s father Kim said: “While no medications were taken in excess, we learned today the combination of doctor-prescribed drugs proved lethal for our boy. Heath’s accidental death serves as a caution to the hidden dangers of combining prescription medication, even at low dosage.”


daniel day-lewis dedicates award to ledger January 28, 2008

Filed under: entertainment news,r.i.p. — clementine @ 1:07 pm
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In case you missed last night’s Screen Actors Guild Awards, I thought I would share a wonderful moment. The brilliant Daniel Day-Lewis dedicated his Actor award to the late Heath Ledger. It was a beautiful, moving and humble speech:


heath ledger found dead January 22, 2008

Filed under: entertainment news,r.i.p. — clementine @ 11:00 pm
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Actor Heath Ledger, 28, was found dead in his Manhattan apartment earlier today. I was fortunate enough to meet this talented actor when he visited his girlfriend on a film I was working on. He seemed polite and quiet. Heath was most known for his Academy-nominated role in Brokeback Mountain. He was currently filming The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus and recently finished production on the upcoming Batman film, The Dark Knight, playing the role of the Joker. There have been reports Heath was ill with pneumonia when he died. I’m terribly saddened and shocked. My thoughts go out to his family and friends.

From the New York Times article:

The police said Mr. Ledger, 28, was found naked on the floor near the bed in an apartment in SoHo that he had been renting. The chief police spokesman, Paul J. Browne, said the police did not suspect foul play.

“There was no indication of a disturbance,” he said, adding that there were no signs that Mr. Ledger had been drinking. Nor were any illegal drugs found in the loft, which takes up the entire fourth floor. Neighbors said Mr. Ledger had occupied it for several months.

Police officials said that a bottle of prescription sleeping pills was found on a nearby night table, but that they did not know whether the pills had anything to do with Mr. Ledger’s death. Officers who checked the apartment found other prescription medications in the bathroom. A spokeswoman for the medical examiner’s office said an autopsy would be conducted on Wednesday.

Mr. Browne said no obvious indication of suicide, like a note, was found in the bedroom.


she is gone March 30, 2007

Filed under: depression,life,love,r.i.p. — clementine @ 1:47 pm
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i put my cat to sleep yesterday. it was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do. several days ago i started a blog about whether or not i should keep this website. and now i think i will. it’s been a healthy outlet for me. and at 5:30 in the morning, awaking for the third time crying i am here. i can hardly see the page. but i’m here. my eyes feel nearly swollen shut. and i want my cat, kinsey, next to me right this second.

i decided i did not want children. living with a mental illness has not been an easy road for me and i did not want to bring a child into what will probably always be a roller coaster life. and kinsey was my child. i’ve had her 16 years. and for most of those 16 years it was just the two of us. she’s been that one constant in my life. oh, i wasn’t ready for this. i thought i was, but who is?

it wasn’t the food that killed her. it was cancer. of the liver. a large tumor and she was in pain. her body was so swollen and full of fluid that the doctor had a hard time finding her veins. after the second injection- i could no longer look into those eyes that couldn’t close. i had to leave the room. my swain stayed with her, crying, as i screamed crying outside. it was the third injection that finally put her at peace.

we buried her at a friend’s house nearby. with beautiful trees and a bench. and flowers. her food dishes are gone. her litterbox, gone. her toys, the favorites, are with her. along with that silly red christmas bow i think she loved. i hear the birds chirping. i’ve been feeding them, and they are my new friends. i know life goes on. and it will. it just hurts right now.


she is dancing August 28, 2006

Filed under: life,r.i.p. — clementine @ 2:00 pm
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life is short, as the saying goes. and so we do our very best to enjoy it—we live, we breathe, we love and we seek peace. it’s not easy. especially during wartime. or during those moments when you feel you simply cannot go on. or after you lose someone you love. but, we keep trying. we continue living.

most days i attempt to seek the beauty in the ugliest situation. i take pleasure in the small things. i try to look at the big picture. i put myself in someone else’s shoes…i say to myself, this person is doing the best they can, for now. and i take small steps.

on some days, living with a mental illness exhausts me and i only see the ugly. my fears overwhelm me and most people turn away from me. and then, yes, i pick up the pieces and i continue living. seeking the beauty.

the oldest woman in the world died yesterday. her name was maria esther de capovilla, she lived in ecuador and she was 116. maria was born in 1889, the same year as charlie chaplin and adolf hitler. she was 22 when the titanic sank and 79 when astronauts first set foot on the moon. in 1917 she married antonio capovilla, an austrian sailor, he died in 1949. they had five children, three of whom are still alive, and 11 grandchildren, 20 great-grandchildren and two great-great-grandchildren.

maria was said to enjoy painting, embroidery, dancing and walking. her family believes drinking donkey milk as a child might have been the key to her longevity, i believe it was so much more than that.

her likely successor as oldest woman is an american, elizabeth bolden of memphis, tennessee. i would like to meet this woman, i would like to hear her stories. i would like to look into her eyes and see the warmth, the pain, the love and the beauty.

to read more on maria’s life, click here.