I’ll be away for a short time. I finally have a job. I’m helping a director friend of mine cast his next feature film which is set in Portland but shooting mostly here, a city that is the polar opposite of Portland. (in film lingo, difficult to cast) The problem is, I haven’t been in the casting world since 2004, so, I’m a little rusty. No, wrong, more than a little. But I am very thankful for the short-term work. I haven’t had a decent job since last August, basically living off unemployment. I thought I worked in a recession-proof industry but nobody is safe anymore. Well, a few are but I won’t go there. Anyway, I can’t remember the last time I went shopping and bought something for myself or my swain. A friend of mine bought cupcakes for my swain’s birthday a couple of weeks ago, that’s how bad things have been. I can’t even afford to drive 3 hours away to see my sister, parents and meet my niece who was born in October! Or visit my swain’s parents and sister and our newborn niece on that side of the family. Sad. However, I know that it could be so much worse. My dad’s company just cut his salary, my mom is in fear of losing her job-there have been many layoffs at her company. And I’m alive, fairly healthy and not living on the streets. Sooo….before I leave for a bit, a few rambling thoughts.
I have been prepping this job over the weekend and getting very little sleep. I worked from 3pm Thursday until 7am Friday and that was my first day! A disadvantage in my industry-you go from working 12-20 hours a day to not working at all. Now, usually when I’m working I am highly functional, on top of every single little thing, have tons of energy, life is good…blah, blah… and when I’m not working, well, I’m the exact opposite. I’d really like to find a balance. I’m running into a little problem this go-around. A first for me. I’m still on top of everything, have plenty of energy (because I have something/too much to focus on) but I’m having a really difficult time typing. Not cool when you’re sending emails to well-known actors, etc. It’s not something I can use spell check for because I’ll type wood instead of would. I have been spending a lot of time correcting emails before I send them out. For example-I just typed “before I sent than out” and had to go back and revise. I’ve never had to do this before! I noticed it shortly after I started taking Abilify and Celexa, but I was only on those crappy medications for a month. It could be the Xanax I’m still taking, I have never taken benzos until this year. Or it could be the fact (just typed face instead of fact) that I haven’t been out much. I’ve been hibernating simply because there’s not much to do when you’re broke and I’ve been too depressed to even get outside and walk. Well, I wouldn’t say depressed, maybe just a complete lack of energy or enthusiasm for anything!! I’ve also been sick quite a bit. It started with the diagnosis of Adenomyosis, a few months later, sciatica. (months not moneths-this is getting ridiculous!) Moving on….Then a deep depression. and finally, I just got past a month long flu or really bad case of bronchitis. I took a Zpak early on and that made everything worse. I’m rambling…ugh…my question is…has anyone else experienced these typo problems when taking benzos? or Abilify? or Celexa? Something is really messing with my brain or maybe it’s simply all of the psych meds catching up with me.
Whatever it is, it is scary and I do not like it.
And that’s about all I have the energy for now, plus my cat needs my attention and I need to work on a to-do list for tomorrow. I will miss all of you and hope to catch up on your blogs upon my return or maybe I should just *get smart* and take a break here and there even when I really can’t afford to. Although, with all the news out these days in regards to Seroquel (a drug that seriously messed me up) I don’t know if I need to be reading about things like that. Which is probably why I should stop now and start researching Russian dialects, cockney dialects and when (not hwen) I do have time, which is never, well I will MAKE the time for a nice bath in the middle of the day or something. The only plus with casting, the majority of my work is done from home, in my pajamas!
I’ll end this on a good, cryptic note. A film I worked on is doing well very in the festival circuit. It’s the first time in a long time that I’ve been proud of something I worked on. I’m not mentioning the film (although I really want everyone to see it) because I’m trying to keep some form of anonymity.
See, er, read you all soon. and be well.