invincible summers

in the middle of winter I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer. (albert camus)

lemonade award December 13, 2008

Filed under: hope,love,mental illness — clementine @ 2:48 am
Tags: , , ,


Stephany at soulful sepulcher very kindly awarded my blog with the Lemonade Award. It was quite a surprise and a true honor coming from her. I sincerely thank her. I have enjoyed reading her blog for a year or so now. she reminds me of Erin Brockovich-although on a somewhat different journey, Stephany, like Erin, is a fighter. she fights for truth and justice and peace. but more importantly, she fights for her child. she fights and lives for love. and she never gives up. she is truly gifted and is able to find so much beauty in a (sometimes) ugly world.

this is a little more difficult than i expected. you see, as i type, i long for understanding from my mother. i have her love. but she turns her head when it comes to my illness. for many reasons. her mother was mentally ill and i know i must be a reminder of things unknown to me but possibly sad, tragic events from her own childhood. my mother sees my behavior and actions and does not “see” the illness. my mother chooses to not talk about my illness and feels she must walk on eggshells around me. i understand. i can be unpredictable and most definitely emotional. i take many things personally. but that is who i am. i remember when i checked myself into a mental hospital over ten years ago…my family and then friends did not know what to say or how to act around me. i felt safe and loved only by the people i met at the hospital. since then, things have changed. i lost touch with the girls at the hospital. but my parents still love me, unconditionally and that’s all i can ask for. these days i am very fortunate to have friends who listen to me and love me unconditionally. today i spent time with two of those friends. they have been helping me get through the past few weeks, listening to me and loving me. and i am grateful for the internet and the ability to connect with so many people that do understand me.

Stephany has been to hell and back. she has the scars to prove it. and mostly all for her beautiful daughter. she is a rare flower. there are very few people in this world willing to stick around, listen, understand, love and fight for such a long time. i can think of numerous people that have called me over the years asking me to call their mentally ill friend or family member because they didn’t know what to say. they were tired of trying to understand. they were giving up. and so, thank you, stephany…for never giving up.

The rules of this award are as follows:

* Put the logo on your blog or post.
* Nominate at least 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!
* Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
* Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
* Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

and here are my ten nominees, some know what it’s like to fight and survive in a world full of stigma. some know what it’s like when the darkness is both comforting and disturbing. some chose a path without medication, knowing all too well that most psychiatric medications do not work. some speak out against the pharmaceutical companies that are poisoning our children, friends and the elderly. some take these very medications to stay alive. some are still trying to figure out their own path. and all of whom are very brave souls.

beyond meds

…salted lithium

tilting at windmills


if you’re going through hell keep going

experimental chimp

storied mind

chunks of reality

bipolar recovery

the trouble with spikol

one bipolar life


6 Responses to “lemonade award”

  1. Stephany Says:

    you’ve left me speechless, with gratitude. thank you so much for what you wrote here.

  2. Stephany Says:

    PS- erin brochovich –when i was preparing for speeches at mental health court and inside snooty hospital board rooms where ppl were not seeing my daughter, they only saw a “case”–i watched that movie every night over and over again. lol. seriously though, it always reminded me to push and push harder and i dare say i had an erin brockovich moment, when i stormed into court one day and demanded” “i want to approach the bench!” when a free defense attorney was dragging his feet and keeping my daughter in for another weekend. not with me around! i still love watching that movie.

  3. giannakali Says:

    thank you. I will proudly post the award you’ve given me with the others I’ve received at the bottom of my side bar.

    just so you know, I no longer participate in memes otherwise, but I always greatly appreciate the recognition…

    thank you very much.

    (I posted this on my blog where you let me know you had given me this award)

    I want you to know too that I, like you, follow you story as well, though not daily.

    I greatly appreciate your struggle and this post is very beautiful…

    Stephany is indeed and awesome mom.

  4. clementine Says:

    stephany, it’s funny…the whole erin thing come from two things 1) i noticed via your profile you like the movie and 2) i love the film and recently watched it for 5th or so time. (i was fortunate enough to work with the director of that film on a different movie, traffic….they are all a great bunch of people)

    anyway, i meant every single word i said…you are an inspiration to so many people and thank you again for never giving up…not an easy thing. and your “erin” story just made me laugh…THANK YOU!

  5. John D Says:

    Thanks-This is such a nice surprise! I’m really honored and look forward to sharing more between our blogs.


  6. Jane Says:

    thank you! thanks for the visit the other day.

    Stephany reminds me of Erin too!

    My blog time is limited these days because of my other writing commitments but I think you are a sweetheart to consider me.

    Happy holidays!

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