invincible summers

in the middle of winter I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer. (albert camus)

Abilify update December 11, 2008

Filed under: antidepressants,antipsychotics,big pharma,health care — clementine @ 1:17 am
Tags: , ,

an Abilify update. my initial reaction has been- ok, it’s not as bad as Seroquel. as in, i’m not sleeping 14-16 hours a day and completely knocked out. but. there’s always a but. i’m having serious short term memory problems. i will say something to someone only to repeat the same comment/question a few minutes later. i feel as if i’m under water. not really slurred speech…but sloooowwww. i’m misspelling words and cannot complete sentences. the pain in my hands/wrists/arms is gone. great. but i switched things up. i’m now taking the abilify in the morning and the celexa at night. when i was taking the abilify before i went to bed, i could not sleep, again…the exact opposite of seroquel. luckily this is all short-term.

i want to be alone. all of the time. i’ve asked my swain for space and so he’s been spending many nights at friends while i sit here and try to figure it all out. it’s kind of a free version of checking myself into a mental hospital. i sit here and write. i read. trying to learn to crochet. the only difference-i’m not under supervision and my pills are not handed to me in a little dixie cup.

i’ve been revisiting the past which my swain does not understand. but i feel i need to go through a healing process and it is helping. how might posting childhood, work & friend’s photographs on facebook help? i don’t know.
i don’t know. i don’t know.

i don’t know anything right now. only this is certain:


Update 12/12/08: Just got the OK from my doctor to stop the Abilify. So it’s just Celexa and Xanax for now….


3 Responses to “Abilify update”

  1. Stephany Says:

    Just don’t hold up alone too long, speaking from experience….I think I was all locked down for about the last 8 months. Went about taking my daughter here and there only. That’s it. Re-entering, or what I’ve felt and named “surfacing”, has actually been difficult, because I’m seeing how much time went by, passed me by, and then I had to get used to being out in public again, even walking the dog gave me anxiety!

    I LOVE that cartoon!

    Take care, and you are not alone.


  2. clementine Says:

    thank you stephany. i’m getting out tomorrow for a job. and i just put a call into my doctor about going off abilify-i hate the side effects.
    my best to you…
    you are the best

  3. markps2 Says:

    Great cartoon!

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