invincible summers

in the middle of winter I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer. (albert camus)

33 feels good June 10, 2006

Filed under: life — clementine @ 5:12 pm

so, it was my birthday yesterday. it was a good day, spent in one of my favorite cities, cincinnati. and spent with my friend of 29 years. the last few weeks have been complicated, i've been a mess. i haven't been posting much here, instead i turned to a journal and spent those weeks releasing some pains and attempting to find closure. i have found, for the first time, writing can, well, it has saved me. but i am drained. which is exactly why i left town for the weekend. to clear my mind. and besides my last three birthdays were all spent on location working 16 hour days. it's just another day, yes, but a day this year i chose to spend with someone i love dearly.

i went to a reds game for the first time since the days of pete rose and johnny bench. it wasn't the same, and they lost, but it was fun. two hotdogs, just like the old days. and my friend bought me a fabulous reds hat, i'm a girl who loves a good hat. later today (after i sleep, i hope) we will walk this city i adore and enjoy each moment.

tonight my friend sleeps and i sit here in the hotel room, my mind spinning. three job offers, all which will take me out of my comfort zone—one which would require me putting everything in storage and working out of town for nine months. one in vegas. the other, austin for several months. years ago, i would drop everything and leave. i wouldn't look back. maybe it's getting older, i don't know…but it's not easy and it's no longer fun.

i will return home and weigh the pros and cons i suppose. so much for clearing my mind. ah, but 33 feels good. i will take this over 23 any day.


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